Divorce will affect you emotionally no matter how hard you prepare yourself. That could leave you vulnerable to making more impulsive or emotionally-charged choices in various aspects of life.
You want to be kind to yourself, and recognize that as you are going through this difficult phase of your life, you may not be operating at your best. It is important to be deliberate and cautious as you make decisions that have long-term consequences.
1. In the negotiations
You might just want your settlement or case to be over as quickly as possible, and give up certain entitlements or opportunities with that goal in mind. For example, while you might hate the thought of living in your family home right now, you could come to regret telling a court that your spouse can keep it just because you did not want to argue or negotiate anymore.
2. In making changes to your life
Divorce itself is a massive change. Consider letting it settle in a bit before you make other significant changes.
Now might not be the best time to pack in your well-paying job as a financial advisor to set up as a freelance photographer, especially if you have never made money from your photos before. Moving to another area might feel liberating, but you might miss your support network, and if you have kids, they probably need the stability that staying put can provide – at least for a while.
3. In dealing with your spouse
You’re getting divorced, so why not tell them what you really think of them? Why not tell them you kissed their best friend on that holiday to the Caribbean you took together? Or that you always hated Christmas at their parent’s house?
Letting off steam, even if you are telling truths you previously kept hidden, could harm your chances of getting the divorce outcomes you seek. Avoid anything that could cause your spouse to dig their heels in harder or become vengeful. This is even more important if you have kids, as you still need to work together for years to come. Plus, while you may have a moment of vindication in “getting those thoughts off your chest,” you will not necessarily feel better in the long run for having stooped to that level.
Seeking legal guidance can help you understand more about how to protect your divorce prospects.