Being a parent can be hugely rewarding, but it isn’t always easy. It requires a lot of patience, energy and emotional stamina. When a parent is struggling with unmanaged depression, the demands of simply being a parent can become overwhelming.
Depression affects roughly 8% of the adult U.S. population every year – and here’s how their condition can negatively affect their parenting skills:
They may lack emotional availability
When a parent is in the grip of depression, they may not be as present, responsive or nurturing as their child needs. They may have a difficult time showing affection or providing their children with the emotional support that all children require. This can leave the children feeling disconnected and insecure.
They may miss the child’s physical needs
Sometimes people in the midst of a serious depression can struggle to physically care for themselves – and physically caring for a child can be even harder. They may fail to provide the child with the basics (cooked food, clean clothes and so on), fail to make sure that the child attends school and otherwise neglect their care.
They could perpetuate the depressive cycle
Perhaps the worst result is that the child may end up suffering from depression, as well. A parent that seems distant, withdrawn or hostile due to depression can deeply damage their child’s mental health – and the child may not improve even if the parent is treated unless there are special interventions aimed at helping the child recover.
How to help
It is important to approach untreated depression with empathy and kindness. A person struggling with depression is not necessarily doing so deliberately; depression has a power all its own. If you, your loved one, or your co-parent is struggling with untreated depression, try to reach out for assistance (or to offer assistance, if appropriate), or connect with someone your co-parent trusts to see if they can offer support. If, unfortunately, your co-parent’s depression is making it difficult for them to parent effectively, and they are unwilling to acknowledge or address their untreated depression, it may be necessary to seek a modification of the custody schedule. Legal guidance can help you understand what steps to take next.
