Handover days can be some of the most stressful days for parents and children alike. This may be the only time when two parents who were once together come face to face and, especially if the split is fresh, tensions can run high.
The following tips can help you make it more pleasant for all involved:
Limit what occurs and show respect toward each other
A handover of the kids should be just that. It should not be a handover plus the opportunity to get into a disagreement with your ex about something. Nor should it be handover plus the chance to annoy your spouse by turning up late.
Try to be prompt and give a warning if you are likely to be late. Show understanding if your co-parent arrives late with a valid reason. Save the points you have to discuss for another time, perhaps even only discussing them by email to reduce the chance that one poorly expressed or misunderstood comment leads to an argument in front of the kids and tension for all.
Think about where and when to schedule handovers
A handover on Friday morning when you both have to get to work and the kids have to get to school has more potential for stress than one on a Friday night when everyone is finished for the week.
A handover in a public place can be safer than one in a private place if your spouse is prone to abusive or aggressive behavior. A handover at a neutral location can feel less invasive or intimidating than one outside a house with a new partner inside or the neighbors peeking through the curtains. However, when the parties are both well-behaved, a transition between the child’s homes can be the least stressful for the child him or herself.
Setting out some ground rules for this and the other aspects of your co-parenting rules is a wise step when determining custody and parenting arrangements.
