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What should you know about social media and divorce?

On Behalf of | Jan 21, 2025 | Divorce

Interacting with others on social media is a way to stay in contact with friends and family. For some, it’s also a way to communicate with people they’ve never met who have shared interests or are going on similar journeys (think hiking channels, parenting communities, “buy nothing” groups, and so on). While most people don’t think much about what they’re posting, anyone who’s going through a divorce should pay close attention to their social media activity. 

If you’re in that situation, it’s important to remember that anything you say or do can be used in your divorce case — even if you think your account is private. Anything you post online, including on social media, is permanent; it can remain even if you think you have deleted it. There are “way back” websites that can take people to older versions of a website from before you deleted your post. People can screenshot anything and hand it over to your ex. Social media sites such as Facebook save “prior versions” of edited posts. Nothing is truly ever gone.

How can you handle social media after a separation?

One option you have is to stay off social media during the divorce. This helps you resist the temptation to share events about the proceedings from your perspective, or get caught saying something about your spouse or the case that may come back to haunt you. However, even this option isn’t foolproof because there’s a chance that someone else will post pictures or share memories of you that may play a role in your divorce, or that something you’ve posted previously remains accessible.

Another option is to think carefully about everything you post and all interactions. Even liking a picture, sharing a meme, or commenting on a status could lead to issues. Never talk about your ex, the divorce or your children so that there’s no way for your ex to misconstrue what you said. Always think about how things may be perceived before you post anything online. 

How should you think about social media before a (potential) separation?

The foregoing demonstrates how information you have shared — even years in the past — can impact your case. It’s important that even if you are not yet separated or heading into divorce proceedings, you think about how your posts could be used in the future.

For example, even though this may not be fair, positive things you once said about your spouse online could be used to undermine the credibility of legitimate claims of fear or abuse you make later on in the marriage. There have been cases where social media posts about “the World’s Greatest Dad/Mom,” extoling their virtues as a parent, have been used as a way to impeach claims that this parent was actually impatient/mean/temperamental/alcoholic, or whatever the case may be, behind closed doors. These are some of the dangers of sharing one perspective publicly that may be different from what goes on in private.

Protecting your interests during a divorce is one of the most important things you can do. Working with someone who understands your situation and can assist with the process is beneficial. 

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