When a co-parent struggles with addiction, the impact on the children can be profound, but so can the impacts on the child’s other parent. If your co-parent has “fallen off the wagon” after a period of sobriety, it can trigger serious concerns about your child’s safety, stability and well-being. Addiction is a complex and deeply personal issue, but in the context of shared parenting, it becomes a legal and practical concern as well.
If you’re facing this situation, it’s important to take measured steps to protect your child while staying within the bounds of the law. The first and most important consideration is your child’s immediate safety.
If your co-parent’s relapse is recent and there’s evidence of dangerous behavior (such as driving under the influence, leaving the child unsupervised or emotional volatility), you may need to take swift action. Try to have a conversation with your co-parent, where you share concern for not only the child, but them as the child’s other parent. They may not respond positively, but you will have demonstrated to the court that you goal is trying to help your co-parent have a healthy relationship with your shared child. You may also need to contact your attorney to modify your parenting plan or, in extreme situations, discuss with your attorney the possibility of contacting local authorities. Be sure to document any concerning incidents as accurately and thoroughly as possible.
Moving forward
A relapse may warrant modifications to your existing custody or visitation agreement. Courts prioritize the best interests of children and may be willing to adjust parenting time, require supervised visitation or mandate drug and alcohol testing. If you previously agreed to terms with the understanding that your co-parent was sober, a relapse could be grounds to revisit those arrangements.
It’s possible to be empathetic toward your co-parent’s struggles while also setting firm boundaries. Addiction recovery is a process, and many people relapse at some point. If your co-parent is seeking treatment or showing signs of accountability, you may be able to work with them — through legal channels or mediation — to structure a plan that supports both their recovery and your child’s safety.
