Falls Church Virginia Family Law Blog

If you are divorced or separated from your child's other parent, it may go without saying that you don't always get along. In fact, there may be very bad feelings between you and your former partner that make it a challenge to co-parent. However, your difficulties with your co-parent should not affect your custody schedule. As tempted as you may be to deny your ex access to your child, you should understand that doing so may result in negative consequences for you.

Refusing to allow your child to go with his or her parent simply because you are upset or angry with your ex can be a big mistake. Family courts do not look kindly on parents who use their children to punish each other. While there may be legitimate reasons for keeping your child home from your ex's house, you would be wise to seek legal advice before taking matters into your own hands.

Virginia parents who are going through a divorce might worry about how it will affect their children. Maintaining a functional co-parenting relationship is possible, but it requires the parties to try to work together.

Birthdays and holidays can be tough for children. Instead of having them go to two different events, one for each parent, parents may want to consider simply having one where they are together. One advantage is that this prepares parents to be together at events that will only happen once, such as weddings. However, even if parents are not yet ready for this level of togetherness, they can try to support the child's relationship with the other parent. This includes listening when the child has issues with the other parent and helping the child with the relationship in the same way the parent would with another family member. Children must never be made to feel as though they have to choose between their parents.

The holidays are usually a time of year when families set aside their differences and come together to celebrate whatever is most important to them. As a result, the season is usually full of fun and cheer. However, many Virginians struggle through the holidays because they feel trapped in bad marriages. Even those who want to seek a divorce often choose to put off the action during this time of year so as not to disrupt family dynamics and seemingly ruin what would otherwise be a festive period of time.

In fact, putting off divorce until January is a common tactic taken by individuals, and it has led to January being dubbed "Divorce Month" by some family law experts. One need only look at online search frequencies and social media topics to see that interest in divorce spikes in late December and early January.

Although child custody disputes that play out in court are meant to find an arrangement that supports the best interests of the children involved, oftentimes they devolve into presentations meant to cast the other parent in as unfavorable of a light as possible.

The two issues are not completely separate, though. Parents may have to point out the other parent's faults, if only to highlight how a proposed custody and visitation plan is not in the child's best interests.