Divorce happens for a reason. Many divorces happen because couples have serious communication difficulties. After divorce, many couples no longer have to see or talk to each other – unless they have children.
Parents going through divorce often have a few more challenges than couples that do not. For starters, there is the matter of deciding child custody. Most courts agree that co-parenting is in a child’s best interest, and strengthens legal and physical custody rights.
To help make co-parenting work, parents may want to set boundaries with their children’s other parents. This often means that parents have to put aside their differences and establish mutual understanding. Creating a neutral or positive relationship with a co-parent can be beneficial. Here are some reasons why:
Be a healthy role model
As co-parents work through their issues, they are giving their children healthy role models. They model for their children how effective communication reduces conflict, resolves problems, and allows for open discussion. Co-parents who build their communication skills may argue less, which can help children learn how to deal with difficult discussions and feelings within their families, at school, on the sports field, and with their friends. When co-parents work together to establish appropriate boundaries and create a neutral relationship, they can put less stress on their children.
Cooperation breeds cooperation
Talking more does not mean there won’t be disagreements and misunderstandings. However, parents who practice healthy communication styles may find it easier to agree to changes in the child custody arrangement without having to resort to the court. These changes may be minor, such as changing the time of pick up, or bigger such as changing where a child attends school. Either way, parents who have learned how to effectively and respectfully communicate are in better positions to cooperate with one another and make decisions together.
There are many challenges that parents may face when co-parenting. Parents who understand not only their legal rights but also the developmental needs of their children and how effective communication supports that development may have a better chance at giving their children healthy upbringings.
